Thursday 26 May 2011

Say it aint so Lance, say it aint so

   Out of control busy this week so just a few links for you regarding Lance Armstrong. Things seem to be deteriorating extremely rapidly for him, and while we’ll stick with innocent until proven guilty, we have pretty strong suspicions about how this is going to end up. The words of convicted drug cheats Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton are bad, though not necessarily 100% damning, but if Armstrong’s longtime close friend George Hincapie, one of the most stand-up guys in the peloton in recent times, really has corroborated their testimony before the Grand Jury, then…
   It’s an extraordinary set of circumstances, with a federal investigation in the US ongoing against Armstrong and his team. The charge they’re being faced with is one of fraud, not doping, which the government has no jurisdiction over (more or less). But because it was the US Postal Team that they were riding for, they are now being investigated because they misused government funding, by buying drugs rather than, say, bikes or helmets.
   The case is much better explained here, and the 60 Minutes interview with Tyler Hamilton can be viewed here. A very technical but damning summation of the likelihood of Armstrong using the banned substance EPO can be read here (and if you can wade through some of the medical terminology used it seems to be a very very incriminating interview), and one more summary of the case here.
   We’d honestly like to believe that none of all of this is true, or even half-true, but increasingly that seems to be a head-in-the-sand perspective. We shall see.

   We’ll pad things out today with a couple of submissions, starting with this from correspondent Geeza Bowman on football:

been a bit of a sour season for us this year so I'll be sour.
No surprise that the top three richest clubs came in 1st to 3rd whilst the poor clubs struggled.
FIFA continue to be corrupt to the point of the useless English FA actually making a mini stand of not voting for either FIFA candidates (they would'nt have worried if they got 2018).
some saving graces here: 
  • The Chairboys promotion to League One
  • Brighton and Southhamptons promotion to Championship
  • AFC Wimbledon (proper Wimbledon) being promoted to the football league (2) moving up 6 divisions in 9 seasons (after forming in a local boozer), despite opposition from the FA and having the local council shut their old ground down, ground sharing with Palace and finally having their club sold off as a francise and relocating to Milton f*&ing Keynes.  I love what this club has done, two fingers to the facist b*&strds that put them in such dire straits
  • Even when The Arsenal disgrace themselves, there's still spineless Sp*rs up the road.
-Geeza
And this on the NBA from Simon The Big Man Garret:
I was in Chicago last month and managed to get tickets to the Bulls vs New Jersey Nets which was the Bulls last game before the play-offs.  Only one word to describe it: unbelievable!  I have been fortunate enough to attend numerous sporting events all over the world and the only thing that has topped it is going to watch the (once) mighty Arsenal at Highbury.  Say what you want about American major league sport and their “world’ series, they certainly do know how to put on a show.  It was a fantastic spectacle with Noah dominating the first half before going off injured.  The Nets came back in the third quarter and it looked like they might win until Derrick Rose who had done nothing for the first three quarters completely destroyed them in the final quarter to lead them to victory.  The crowd was mental the whole game as well and Rose (being a local boy) is an absolute hero in Chicago.  They certainly see him as the new Jordan.
Needless to say I am all over the NBA now, these guys are phenomenal athletes and so agile for such big men, if you ever get a chance to go to an NBA game do it – you will not regret it.
-Simon Garret
Thanks for that lads, and apologies for the brevity of this week’s piece, but we should be back early next week with things back to usual. Cheers.

Saturday 21 May 2011

Premier League Teams of the Season

   Got a couple of entries in our Teams of the Season. The first comes from correspondent Dave Gattuso-a-like Holmes:
Hart
Modric
Lennon
Nasri
Pedersen
Song
Tiote
Fellaini
Baines
Hernandez
Guitterez
Nani
Tevez

   Cheers for that buddy. And our team looks like this:
   Al-Habsi

  Baines
  Vidic
  Hangeland
  Jose Enrique

  Nani
  Nasri
  Kompany
  Parker

  Van Persie
  Odemwingie

Bench: Van Der Sar, Sangna, Wilshire, Yaya Toure, Tevez

   Let us know your selections in the comments section below, or by email to tobesrowe@gmail.com

Friday 20 May 2011

Boozer and Noah


   As our rolling news blackouts continue to be in effect, we’re just gonna throw a few talking points at you today and you lazy buggers out there can do some work.

Basketball

   Is there a better monikered combination in sport in existence than the pairing of Boozer and Noah? Not only that, as our NBA obsession rapidly deepens (we’ve seen in their entirety all 13 of the games played since we jumped into it barely 2 weeks ago; are both dreading the off-season and salivating about the new season starting; and we are only able to stave off Fever L’Estrange’s encouragements to take the final step and start gambling on games due to the Comments Team being banned from all sports betting due to our considerable influence over players in every sporting arena) in the Chicago Bulls we’ve found a new team to barrack for.
   Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah (who is the 6 foot 11 inch offspring of former tennis star Yannick Noah and Miss Sweden 1978) are frankly awesome to watch. In our ignorance we stated that aside from MVP Derrick Rose the Bulls didn’t have a lot of scoring players on the court, but in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Miami Heat, Boozer and Noah really stepped up, as did British player Luol Deng. Noah is a rebounding machine, particularly on offence, and Boozer has a sweet rainbow shot that swishes the net time after time. Deng, over two metres tall and tipping the scales at over 100 kilos, somehow plays around 45 minutes every game, and performs everywhere on the court.  We generally look scornfully at folks who jump on the bandwagon of a successful team, but this Chicago side is just so good to watch, and in their fight against the evil Heat there’s only one way we could ever have jumped. After an incredible win in Game 1, the Bulls were subdued in the second match and the Heat ran out the winners, but we’re backing the depth of the Bulls squad to see them through.
   In the Western Conference Finals, the Dallas Mavericks won Game 1 versus the Oklahoma City Thunder on the back of a simply incredible performance by Dirk Nowitzki. Most seven footers in bball lumber up and down the court, grabbing rebounds, blocking shots, and shooting poorly, especially from the free-throw line. Nowitzki is the complete antithesis of this. In Game 1 he scored an awesome 48 points and set an NBA Playoff record, hitting 22 out of 22 from the free-throw line. That’s right: 22 shots, and not a single miss. Freaking fantastic. Game 2 is being played right now and the Thunder will need Russell Westbrook to really improve on his performance in the first match and give the scoring support that Kevin Durant needs. We don’t really like the Thunder for some reason, despite Westbrook being a dead-ringer for Bodie, one of our favourite Wire characters, and James Harden’s great beard, but we do recognise that they have the tools to progress if everyone starts firing for them.
   Ok, we’ll stop here before we really get carried away, but we invite any thoughts any of you might have on the ongoing Playoffs series. Please though, no scores, as we continue to be around 18 hours behind the action.

Football

   As the Premier League staggers to a depressing conclusion this weekend, only one important game remains to be played this season. Swansea will take on Reading on the 30th to see who secures the last promotion position to the Prem after the Swans saw off Forest 1-0 on aggregate and the Royals defeated Cardiff 3-0. We hope Reading makes it, due to our fondness for the ginger-filled team that they brought with them the first time they made it to the top flight, although having a Welsh side in the Prem might be interesting too.
   And for those of you claiming the Champions League Final is another big game, sod off. Not only did it’s scheduling force the FA Cup Final to be played two weeks early, robbing the Cup of any grandeur and significance, but it features a team we hate versus a team we used to love but really can’t stand any more due to their horrible diving, whining, ref-surrounding antics. We pine for the days when all the European competitions were straight knock-out encounters, featuring actual ‘champions’ and ‘cup-winners’, and the overblown, overlong farce we are now stuck with honestly sucks.

   So people, what are your footballing thoughts? Do you enjoy the Champions League? What do you think about the current version of the FA Cup? And we’d love to get some feedback on the Prem: player of the year; who would you pick in your 2010/11 team of the year etc. Some great roundups to stimulate your mind can be found here.

Some other stuff

-      Is this some sort of elaborate farce, or is Martin Crowe really planning a comeback at 48? The man who once described himself to a comely young Yankee lass he was making time with as ‘the Joe Montana of world cricket’ (true story, as related by the young lady in question to Roby Towe and Hard Times Molloy in a Melbourne hostel) and was once clean bowled by our Comments Team Stats Freak Roby Towe at the Basin Reserve on a lunch-break in the distant past (also a true story, technically making Roby a more dangerous bowler than Richard Hadlee who never managed to dismiss Crowe in domestic competition), is apparently attempting to gain selection for one of the sides in the NZ domestic competition. He claims he wants to score the 392 runs he needs to get to 20,000 first class runs, but we suspect the lure of IPL riches may be what truly lies at the heart of this. Thoughts?
-      The French Open begins next week, and we’ll have plenty of coverage as Novak Djokovic seeks to continue his unbeaten streak. Also we have everything crossed for Kiwi star Marina Erakovic: she won her first two matches in the qualifying tournament, and is now just one win away from making the Main Draw for just the second time in her career.
-      The Giro d’Italia continues, but after the death of Wooter Weylandts we’re finding it hard to get back into. Also due to the fact that Alberto Contador is leading at the same time as court cases are ongoing regarding the cleanliness of a certain test he failed. We really really really really really really really hope he is innocent, because he has won too many major races in recent years for cycling to be able to afford otherwise. After repairing so much damage to its reputation in the last few seasons, a scandal of the potential proportions here would be devastating.

That’ll do it from us; get in touch. We’ll be back next week with more hoops, tennis, the Spanish Grand Prix, and hopefully plenty of submissions from you lot.
Cheers.

Saturday 14 May 2011

Rolling 24 Hour Mugabe Media Blackouts

   Largely due to the encouragements of Mark Call me Marco ‘Fever’ L’Estrange and a conversation with another basketball enthusiast, The Walking Indie Music Library Dylan Lee, there’s been a lot of NBA watched in the last week or so. Seven games since Saturday, in fact, which led Mrs. Supercoach to utter, with just a hint of understandable exasperation in her voice, “I didn’t know you watched basketball too?”
   Well, now we do. But it has caused some problems. Rather than stump up the cash to the NBA we’ve been downloading games, which generally means we have to watch them around 18 hours after their completion. This results in us going into full sports media lockdown, only catching up on other news about a day later than usual. Even then, our vigilance can be defeated. A seemingly innocuous sports quiz we took this morning inadvertently revealed to us the result of Game 5 of the Boston-Miami series, which was a blow. We’re about 30 minutes away from downloading Game 5 in the Memphis-Oklahoma matchup, and then we have about a five hour window until Game 6 in the Chicago-Atlanta series is completed, which is then available to download about nine hours later. So for all of you who think this sports watching stuff is just a walk in the park- or maybe a lie on the couch- think again. Complex mathematical formulas based on time zones, torrent sites, download rates and media reactions are needed, and change on a daily basis.
   So we’ve turned to our US Affairs Reporter Toejam Odelay to take care of things for us. Toejam has been AWOL of late, having discovered a legitimate reason to move to the US, despite the crumbling economy, underlying racial tensions, hideously corrupt and horribly divisive political system, and Donald Trump. And that reason is the Chump Car World Series. However we’ve managed to entice him away for long enough to post on the bball, followed by a televisual recommendation from Cultural Affairs Reporter Rand Abbot.

Strangest Post-Season Ever?

   Howdy y’all. Well folks it has certainly been a humdinger of a post-season, aint it. For the first time in Western Conference Playoff history, the eighth seeded team beat the top seeded side, with the Memphis Grizzlies downing the San Antonio Spurs in Round 1. Then in Round 2, the two-time defending champion LA Lakers were swept 4-0 by the Dallas Mavericks, bringing the curtain down on legendary coach Phil Jackson’s career (6 titles with the Chicago Bulls, 5 with the Lakers) in a most undignified manner. In what turned out to be the final game of the series the Mavs rained down twenty 3-pointers, equaling the playoff record, and smashed the Lakers by 40 points.
   Things in the Eastern Conference have gone a little more according to form, with the Bulls, the Atlanta Hawks, the Boston Celtics and the Miami Heat all making the second round. Due to our Mugabe Media Lockdown springing a leak, I now know that the Heat have defeated the Celtics- last year’s beaten finalists- by a comfortable four games to one, though I aint yet seen that last encounter. Like most honest citizens out there, I was rooting for the Celtics, the same way I’ll holler for any side that comes up against the Heat.
Y’see them Miamians have stacked their team full of superstars in the last year or so, and now boast possibly the three most renowned players in the league in Dwayne Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh. These recruitments don’t really tell the story of why folks are so strongly anti the Heat. It was the way they, and LeBron James in particular, went about the transfer process that was so distasteful. An hour long live special on ESPN was used to announce his decision to move from Cleveland to Miami, and it was an awful spectacle that just showed how out of touch the majority of professional athletes are from those that pay money to see them play. You can read more about it here.
Anyways, with the Bulls leading their series 3-2 over the Hawks, many are hoping the Chicago side that finished with the best regular season record in the entirety of the NBA and have this season’s MVP Derrick Rose leading the way for them will defeat Atlanta and then somehow find a way past Miami. Though I oughta confess that for most of the season I’ve been tinkering under the hood of my Chump Car entry rather than watching hoops, my money’s on a Miami-Dallas Championship Series. They’re the two teams with the most experience post-season and for that reason alone I reckon they’ll make it to the end. Chicago can beat Miami for sure, but it’ll take a huge performance by Rose as his team-mates don’t provide a whole lot in the way of scoring backup, with the side more known for its defensive prowess. Miami on the contrary have so many guys who can score buckets that they should prove too classy over seven games.
Dallas rely heavily on huge seven-foot German rainbow-style precision shooter and Neanderthal-a-like Dirk Nowitzki for their points, but he has some able backup in the Jason’s Terry and Kidd. The Oklamhoma-Memphis series is yet to conclude, but whoever makes it through, regardless of their side’s relative strengths, may just be too flat-out tired to put up much resistance against the Mavs. Game 4 after all, went to a triple overtime, while the Mavs have been resting since the weekend.
So there you have it ladies and germs. Just to end on what you might call a talking point, or as we say down here in the South, a shit stirring, I thought I’d make the observation that bball, as with Gridiron, seems to reflect life in these here United States: young black people fighting frantically amongst each other while over-weight rich white folks sit on their heavily padded behinds stuffing their pie-holes. Simplistic, sure, but next time you see a game check out the proportions of light-skinned folk in the expensive court-side seats as compared to the proportions of darker-toned people chasing a ball in front of them. I’s just saying is all.
-Toejam Odelay

   As ever, we endorse very little of what dueling-banjos enthusiast Toejam has to say about society, but we do appreciate his attempts to form coherent sentences while drooling chewing tobacco on our keyboards.
   And now, due to our Rolling Media Lockdown, we turn away from sports and bring you some musings from Rand Abbot.

A Show That Makes You Go ‘Hmmm’

   Greetings and salutations. With all the execrable tosh that is produced by the self-proclaimed geniuses of Hollywood and television companies, it is my considerable pleasure to be able to bring you news, albeit belated, of something that is actually worth your no doubt precious time. It was actually released in the United Kingdom late last year, so if you missed it or the cretins who make programming decisions in your homeland failed to screen it, it is most likely by now available as a DVD release.
   The name of the show is simply Sherlock, and it is a re-imagining of the legendary character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in the closing stages of the Nineteenth Century. Now I fully realise that for many of you the word re-imagining’ bears horrible connotations. For the most part it is a term used by lazy unimaginative Hollywood executives when they wish to remake something featuring a much younger cast than the original, generally full of bronzed Adonis’ and over-chested nymphettes. But in this instance, it is a much nobler pursuit.
   In the three 90 minute stories, Sherlock Holmes has been moved from the London of the 1890’s into the modern day metropolis. I had reservations about this at first, but the city, such an integral part of the original stories, still plays a big role, and one still sees many different aspects of London’s personality. The stories themselves are excellent too, and whilst bits and pieces are borrowed from Doyle’s writings, they also contain many fresh and interesting twists and turns that will have aficionados of the character puffing appreciatively on their Holmesian pipes.
   The crucial parts of Holmes and his assistant Doctor Watson have been well cast and are very well acted. But most crucially, they are very well written. The Sherlock Holmes of the original stories was, for all his brilliance, very aloof, condescending, and when one gets right to the heart of the matter, fairly unlikeable. This very vital aspect of the tales has been retained in this reworking. Holmes remains a most exasperating man, and the writers have done very well in creating a back-story for Watson that allows the viewer to understand why he puts up with him, rather than just addressing him with a variety of expletives and storming out, as most people would almost inevitably do. The viewer is both fascinated and repelled by Holmes, just as the reader is in the stories, and this is no mean feat by the writers.
   So, dear readers, I implore you to take the time to watch these three initial installments, and having done so, to be calm in the knowledge that the BBC has commissioned another three episodes which are currently in production. You will find them far far superior to any of the reality rubbish or blockbluster bollocks otherwise available to you.
Until next time, I remain your faithful servant.
-Rand Abbot

   So there you have it people, and we’ll be back next week with previews of the upcoming French Open, a look back at the penultimate round of the Premier League and possibly an ode to what the FA Cup used to be, and a round-up of anything else that catches our eyes. Take it easy, and enjoy your weekends.

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Dark Days


   We had a long series of articles ready for you: on the NBA Playoffs which we’ve begun watching avidly; another excellent Grand Prix, this time in Turkey; Novak Djokovic’s incredible run including his huge victory over Rafael Nadal; and on the early stages of the Giro d’Italia. However, as we were intently watching the third stage of the Giro, everything came shuddering to a halt.
   With twenty kilometres remaining, the riders were engaged in a typically tricky high-speed descent when twenty-six year old Belgian rider Wouter Weylandt crashed heavily. The race continued as medical assistance was quickly administered, but with around five kilometres to ride the commentators announced that Weylandt had died. Seeing this unfold live was shattering. We mentioned in an earlier posting that, unlike with car racing, with cycling you never ever want to see accidents. This is why. He was wearing a helmet, was a professional rider for the last six years, and was reputed to be an excellent descender. All of which counted for nothing.
   In a morbid example of irony, Weylandt won the third stage of the Giro last year. He also had a stage win in the Vuelta a Espana to his name, and this season had joined the newly-formed Leopard Trek team which features heavyweights such as multiple World Champion Fabian Cancellara and the Schleck brothers. At only twenty-six he was set to be a star of the future; now he leaves behind his young girlfriend who is due to give birth to their first child in September, which, frankly, is too awful to contemplate. So that’s where we’ll end it today.

   Please ride safely. Back Friday.

Tuesday 3 May 2011

Hematoma Horror


   Welcome back. Firstly we need to mention that if you wish to add your two-cents to proceedings, the comments section at the end of the blog is now set so that everyone can add something, not just gmail users or ‘followers’ of the blog. Get into it.
 We’ve got football today with a look around Europe penned by The Supercoach, the promised review of UFC 129 by Star Reporter Barry Munta, and bits and pieces from the rest of the sporting world. Before we kickoff though, a couple of vids to get you going: Avalanche cliff jumping, a pursuit not for the faint-hearted or even mildly vertiginous, and a fifteen minute compilation of hilarious footage that makes the A-League look completely rubbish, featuring some of Jezza Wilson’s faves, long-range own goals, but sadly for him, no luggage related injuries.

   Treble Repeat? Feck right off

   Just a couple of weeks ago Man U were talking up an FA Cup, Champions League, Premier League treble. Now however, thanks to the early hackings in the throat that may just develop into a fully fledged choke, they are going to have to fight very hard just to get one title. Dumped out of the FA Cup by city rivals City, the loss against Arsenal has put their previously secure Prem title in jeopardy, and with Barcelona to come in the Champs League Final, the only thing the side may secure this season is a darker shade of purple on their manager’s nose. The match against Chelsea this weekend is going to be huge, and while we’re loath to back any side that features the likes of John Terry or Cashley Cole, anything is better than the Mancs. More on that later this week.
   At the bottom of the table Blackburn’s win over Bolton might be enough for them, while draws for Wigan and Blackpool coupled by Wolves’ inability to beat ten-man Birmingham and West Ham’s latest defeat mean it is going to be just as tight at the bottom as it may be at the top. In our latest selection, we’re picking West Ham, Wolves and Blackpool to go down.
   Meanwhile in The Championship the two automatic promotion places to the Prem have been decided with QPR securing the title for this season and Norwich now safe in second. QPR have dominated throughout 2010/11 and are fully deserving of their elevation. How will they go in the Prem? Well, they’ve got extremely rich owners, which is always a good sign, and in Adel Taarabt they’ve also got The Championship’s Player of the Season. He wasn’t good enough to play at Sp*rs though, which is pretty damning, and it remains to be seen how he can cope in the Prem, or even if he plans to stay at QPR. There’s also the chance that the club will be docked a large number of points for illegally signing a player in 2009, though most seem to think that even if they are penalised they should still have enough of a lead to go up.
   Norwich have taken a very different route to promotion than QPR, having only just been promoted into The Championship at the start of this season. In fact they are the first team since Man City in 2000 to secure back-to-back promotions from League 1 all the way to the top flight. This obviously indicates that they are in good form and are being well managed, but that is far from a guarantee of success in the Prem. They’ll need to strengthen their squad judiciously if they want their time at the top to last more than just a single season.
   Looking around Europe, Borussia Dortmund secured the Bundesliga title in Germany over the weekend, and AC Milan need just one more point from the last three matches to win their first scudetto in Italy since 2004. Barca and Real both lost in La Liga, but it changes little with Barca still nine points ahead. In France, Lille and Marseille are in a two-club race for the title there, while three teams- FC Twente, Ajax, and PSV- are battling it out in Holland. We’ll let you know who emerges on top.
-The Supercoach

   Super summary that by myself, now it’s over to Barry Munta who was selected to review the three hours of brutality that was UFC 129.

   Oooh, Canada

   Up until about the two-hour mark of UFC 129, my greatest concern was that my supply of old Rheineck cans that I was shotgunning was dwindling alarmingly. I was also worried that I had discovered a new sporting vice, as the action to that point had thoroughly enthralled me. But then, in the first of the two main events, things changed. The Featherweight Champion, Jose Aldo of Brazil, was fighting and more-or-less dominating against the Canadian challenger Mike Hominik. Most UFC bouts consist of three five-minute rounds, but title fights are extended to five rounds. This match had just gone into the fourth when a reasonably innocuous elbow to the forehead of Hominik as he was pinned to the ground by Aldo suddenly caused a tennis-ball sized hematoma to appear above the Canadian’s right eye. This looked incredibly heinous to me, and I figured maybe I just needed to harden up, but the exclamations from the 55,000-strong blood-hardened crowd when they saw this bulbous nightmare on the big screen convinced me that this was beyond normal.
   Now, some explanation for the uninitiated is needed here. The Ultimate Fighting Championship is one of the (thankfully) few activities in life where using ones elbow or knee to attack someone is not just permitted, but actually encouraged and applauded. From what I could make out, you can’t knee someone in the head when they’re on the ground, nor should you hold the back of someone’s head and knee them in the face- though the latter seemed to be something of a gray area- but other than that, go nuts. And they do. The first bout of the night went the full three rounds, and at the end the loser, another Canuck, was bleeding profusely from his heavily cauliflowered ears, his forehead and beneath his eyes. His opponent, a particularly lithe American who kicked every part of his opponent’s anatomy remorselessly, was declared the winner and promptly thanked Jesus, who I’m sure appreciated the shout-out.
   Other fights came and went, and were all reasonably entertaining. UFC works because it incorporates a variety of body-shapes and fighting styles. Some guys are ‘strikers’, some employ wrestling-type techniques, and almost all hold at least one black-belt in some form of martial arts. This makes for an interesting mix of action from one fight to the next. The highlight of the first half of the event had been UFC legend Randy Couture being knocked-out by a kick to the face straight out of the conclusion to The Karate Kid, executed by Brazilian Lyoto Machida. But then came the hematoma horror.
   The fact of this incredible bruise was bad enough, but after the ring doctor looked at it I was sure the fight would be stopped. The ref spotted the angry red lump, paused the bout, and the doctor entered the octagon. And then astonishingly, after probing at the protuberance, he asked Hominik if he wanted to continue, who replied in the affirmative and on they went. Hominik lasted the round, actually dominated the fifth and final round and came close to winning, but was eventually declared the loser on a points decision. All of which I missed, because it was just too freaking awful to look at (Google Mark Hominik hematoma if you haven’t just eaten).
   I tuned back in for the second main event, and saw the awesome George St-Pierre, who hasn’t lost in over four years, beat an opponent, Jake Shields, who hadn’t lost in six years, but the bout was marred by another injury. In the early rounds, despite being constantly on the defensive, Shields jabbed St-Pierre right on his left eyeball effectively blinding him in that eye and St-Pierre, though strong enough and technically adept enough to still win the bout, was unable to do any real attacking and the match was something of an anti-climax. In the post-match interview, St-Pierre said he couldn’t see anything out of his left eye, apologised to the crowd because this had stopped him from putting on a show, and that was more or less that.
   By this stage I had dipped into my emergency stash of jalapeno-vodka jelly shooters to try and erase from my mind the Hominik nastiness, but I’ll still try to convey my general impressions. UFC seems to be exactly as testosterone-fueled as one might imagine, with shouting (though knowledgeable) commentators, rabid fans, awesomely intrusive sponsors, and scantily clad ring girls. The unusual side of all this is that many of the actual fighters displayed surprising levels of articulacy and calm before, during and after their bouts; I suspect this is due to the influence of ‘Eastern’ martial arts. I also suspect that there are equal numbers of droid-abusing meatheads, especially amongst the lower ranks and wannabes. The strongest suspicion I have though, is that come UFC 130 I’ll be amongst the audience again.
-Barry Munta

   Cheers Baz. Just a few things to round us off:

-congrats to the Breakers. Those two three-pointers by CJ Bruton midway through the fourth quarter allowed us all to sit back and enjoy the march to victory. Hats off of course to Paul Henare: we don’t have the exact stat to hand, but since the Breakers inception in 2003 he only missed something like seven or eight games. A true champion.

-Novak Djokovic won the Belgrade Open and has now gone 27 matches undefeated in 2011. The real test on clay comes this week at the Madrid Masters, where a full strength field is present. If he can somehow beat Nadal to the title then he will rocket to the top of the favourites for the upcoming French Open.

-a Hurricanes team full of no-names scored a nice victory over the Queensland Reds, ironically winning with a penalty kick after wayward place kicking had looked to have cost them the match. The fearlessness and freedom that they played with in the first half made for some fine entertainment. Such is the way it tends to go when you throw inexperienced nothing-to-losers out on the field.

   That’ll do it for today. Get in touch below, and we’ll be back with a weekend preview on Friday.